Namaste England

When dumb characters and ancient writing become the supporting elements for a stupid plot, it can never give you entertainment. And if you intend to watch Namaste England to get some entertainment then this movie isn’t the right choice for that. With classic cheesiness and cluelessness in writing making a mess, Namaste England is one movie that will make you wonder which part of the movie excited the makers to go and shoot this stupid script.

Param and Jasmeet are our main protagonists. Ogling at Jasmeet during every festival season, Param eventually manages to get her love (classic Indian idea of romance) and within no time this man marries her, promising that he will allow her to work (so progressive). Due to one (bizarre) reason the Visa for the couple to go abroad always got rejected and the movie shows us how they eventually went abroad and what consequences followed.

Forget the outdated feel of the treatment because there are still people who cry seeing Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum and Kuch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Vipul Shah’s movie is one mess that will frequently make you wonder what the hell is happening. After the teary-eyed cheesy first half, the movie shifts to a second half that sort of look totally alien to the first half. The husband and wife are playing some sort of love game by marrying different people. And in between those things, there will be scenes that will make you close your eyes and yawn loudly. I recently watched a video of Karan Johar analyzing one of the scenes from his older films and throughout the length, the scene got played Karan was saying “Cringe, Cringe, Cringe…..”. The man of cringe-worthy moments has realized the datedness of such moments and here we have experienced people like Vipul Shah, Suresh Nair and Ritesh Shah making stuff like that in 2018.

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The writing of this movie is the most horrendous part. The beginning portion looked like the Beti Bachao Beti Padao ad campaign got a bigger budget. The quality of the dialogues and the performances were as mediocre as those government ads. Towards the interval when characters are crying over things, we might think that why are they so silly. Post interval the movie has too many agendas. Suddenly out of nowhere, the movie becomes this thing about Jasmeet’s obsession for England and this sobbing couple sort of transforms into something else. And in the middle of all that Vipul Shah had to remind us that this is the sequel to Akshay Kumar Katrina Kaif starrer Namastey London, so Arjun Kapoor tries a monologue where he is pretty much stuck with Mangalyaan as everything was already said by Akshay Kumar. And if you know any English person who felt ridiculed seeing Namastey London, you should recommend them this movie as the same team has leveled the score through a self-goal. Param also manages to give guidance to a Pakistani immigrant in the middle of all this. The cinematography is done in the usual way by being visually lush. The first song in the movie was a catchy one but that was one song which just never ended and went on and on in excerpts.

Arjun Kapoor honestly looks so disinterested in his job. The only time you see him in an energetic or earnest mode is when he is pretty much being himself in that wacky avatar of Param. Parineeti Chopra manages to make the character of the stupid Jasmeet look annoying. When her character sort of yells at Param asking “why aren’t you mad at me?”, I am sure most of the members of the audience might have mumbled: “yes we are!”. Alankrita Sahai is there just for glamour and Aditya Seal is forgettable.

Not getting dozed off while watching Namaste England is a rare possibility. And whenever you regain consciousness there will be a lot of how’s and why’s that the writers and makers of Namaste England have no intention to clarify.

Rating: 1/5